While it only stands to reason that an aspiring sugar baby would be eager to find herself in her first official sugar arrangement, it’s important not to jump the gun. Far too many sugar babies are so focused on impressing a potential daddy that they forget to make sure he’s right for her as well. It’s especially important to look out for red flags that suggest a would-be daddy isn’t such a sweet fit after all. The following are some great examples.

1. He’s hardly a gentleman.

Most sugar daddies are well-to-do, distinguished men who really are everything you dream about finding in a potential partner. Not only are they affluent and accomplished, but they’re dashing and chivalrous as well. That said, you should absolutely be on red alert if a potential sugar daddy you’re meeting with seems rude, gauche, or ill-mannered.

A sense of humor that’s slightly off-color or an offbeat personality is perfectly fine. A sugar daddy who’s rude to the wait staff or seems quick to anger is not. The whole point of choosing sugar dating over traditional dating in the first place is to get away from all the immaturity and uncouthness you’re used to, right? That point’s just moot if your sugar daddy is just as bad or worse than the disappointing men you’ve dated in the past.

1. He’s stepping out on his wife.

When you live your life in the sugar bowl, you will likely meet a married would-be daddy sooner or later. You may find out he’s married on your own, or he may tell you outright. Whatever the case may be, a wife is definitely a major red flag. Being married should also be a deal breaker for any would-be sugar baby who wants to be her daddy’s one and only.

In the event you do decide to give a married daddy a chance, you’ll want to make absolutely sure of a few things first. After all, this is the 21^st century, so many people have open marriages or may decide to date while legally separated from their spouse. Is this the case for your daddy, or is his wife in the dark about what he’s doing? If he is in an open marriage, would dating him under those circumstances mean settling for less than you really want? When in doubt, always err on the side of caution.

1. He’s drinking heavily.

While there’s definitely nothing wrong with a daddy enjoying a couple of drinks or appreciating a truly amazing glass of wine now and then, there’s everything wrong with being a sloppy drunk. Be wary of a potential daddy who’s a little too comfortable knocking back drink, after drink, after drink when you meet up. Not only is getting sloppy drunk rude and off-putting, especially on a first date with a new sugar baby, but it’s a major red flag.

If your potential daddy is comfortable getting wasted in front of you in the early stages, it makes sense to wonder about his relationship with alcohol. Do you really want to get mixed up with someone who doesn’t know their limits or who will constantly need you to look after them because they’ve tossed back a few too many again? Again, sugar dating at its best is free of the nonsense and drama that characterizes other relationships. That’s not going to be the case if your sugar daddy is struggling with a serious alcohol problem.

1. He doesn’t respect your boundaries.

Most sugar babies like a daddy who knows how to take the lead a little. However, there’s a big difference between being a take charge kind of guy and being a jerk who refuses to take no for an answer. That said, no potential daddy should give you the feeling your boundaries and sense of safety don’t really matter to him.

So how does this guy take it when you say no to something you don’t want? Does he insist that you have that second drink you don’t really want, or is he pushy when it comes to making plans? Does he talk over you or even downright ignore you when you’re talking? Run don’t walk in the opposite direction. You’ll be glad you did!