Being A Sugar Daddy: Reality Versus Expectations

Jack is hardly what you would call your typical sugar daddy. At just a few months shy of 40 years old, the one-time divorcee and father of two is far removed from the typical sugar daddy image of an older man. You know: the slightly overweight and slightly sleazy type that seems to be the predominant model. In contrast, Jack looks to be in his early 20s, is trim and fit, and has a youthful disposition that makes him naturally attractive to women. In many ways, Jack is not the type you would expect to have a sugar baby.

And yet, Jack is every bit the sugar daddy, having had no less than three sugar babies since he was in his mid-30s. Although one would think that–based on his youthful appearance and good looks–he would have no trouble pulling in the ladies, Jack seems totally comfortable with the idea of being a sugar daddy.

“I did have a couple of relationships after I got divorced,” Jack said. “While I was happy enough with them and didn’t have a negative impression of the singles dating scene, I wasn’t exactly eager to enter into another relationship when the last one ended.”

Instead, Jack decided to try out sugar dating. “I knew a couple of older guys at work that had sugar babies, and I thought it was a great alternative. They seemed so happy and satisfied without being tied down to a long-term relationship that I just had to try it out for myself.”

This was when expectations clashed with reality, and Jack was in for a bit of a rude awakening. “I was still pretty naïve when I hooked up with my first sugar baby, and the experience was nothing at all like I imagined,” Jack said. “I sort of had the idea that being a sugar daddy meant simply setting up my sugar baby in an apartment of her own and that I could drop in anytime I felt the urge.”

“My first sugar baby was a pretty outspoken and independent type of girl, with a burning ambition to start up her own career. She wouldn’t take any BS from anyone, and she made it clear that she wouldn’t put up with any shenanigans from an older man, even if that man was paying her rent.”

For Jack, it quickly became apparent that dropping by in the middle of the night looking for a quick roll in the hay fell under the category of “shenanigans”. “I made the mistake of coming by unannounced after one too many drinks with the guys,” Jack said sheepishly. “I rang her doorbell at past 2 o’clock in the morning and was met by the iciest glare I had ever received in my life!”

Needless to say, sex was out of the question after such a cold reception, and Jack was sufficiently mollified not to push the issue. As he explained, he knew he was lucky not to be thrown out into the street.

“She did let me stay the night, although the cold shoulder continued through the night,” he shared. “The next morning, after I had sobered up, we went over the ground rules of the arrangement over coffee.”

Jack’s sugar baby then made it clear that she expected to be treated with respect and consideration, and that she wasn’t some sort of sexual plaything that he could simply tumble into bed with whenever the urge struck him.

“I have to admit that being confronted with rules and restrictions was a bit of a shock to me considering everything I knew­–or thought I knew–about sugar dating,” said Jack. “I realized then that I had to behave in a manner befitting any other type of relationship, with the only difference being that I was paying for companionship.”

Things later smoothened out between Jack and his sugar baby, but he had some other further lessons to learn. “The incident was a bit embarrassing I admit,” said Jack. “But it did make me realize that sugar babies today aren’t the same as they were many years ago. These women are just like anyone else with their own goals, ambitions, and plans in life.”

Jack goes on: “In the case of my sugar baby, she was simply looking for an arrangement wherein she could support herself while earning her business degree. Like I said, she was a driven and ambitious type, and she had plans to start up her own restaurant supply firm. She made it clear that she would only accept being a sugar baby for as long as it suited her goals. Once anyone got in the way of those goals–including me–she was out the door.”

Instead of taking the revelation as a negative, Jack saw it as a good thing. “I realized that I was being a bit selfish and manipulative by assuming that my sugar baby–or any sugar baby for that matter­–simply lives to be at the beck and call of her sugar daddy,” he said. “I’ve since come around to realizing that such outmoded and dated concepts of ‘superiority’ and ‘power’ have no place in the modern sugar dating environment.”

After having had a few more relationships under his belt, Jack feels that he is still learning. “One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a sugar daddy is that being one doesn’t necessarily place you in a position of power. Although our role is that of the financial provider, sugar babies provide an essential service that makes them at least equal to us. In fact, considering that they give so much of themselves to their sugar daddies, it may even be said that sugar babies are the lifeblood of the entire sugar dating world.”

As many sugar daddies like Jack have realized already, sugar dating is so often not what many people think it would be. With these and other experiences, we hope that many more people come around to realizing the disparity between expectations and reality in the sugar dating world.